50 Shades of JPMorgan
548: Jerome's Last Presser
Good morning gents.
Short one today as I am halfway around the world on vacation in a completely different time zone.
If you guys missed Tuesday’s post you can find it below. We talk about the missing or dead scientists related to UFOs, defense, and nuclear research, and the dive into the programs and stories we know are intertwined with much of this fuckery (Lockheed Martin’s Skunkworks Program, etc.).
Also, make sure you read the post from last week below. Guys are DMing me telling me they hit some absolute homers on these plays.
Financial Markets & Equities
The Fed kept rates unchanged at 3.50%–3.75% this week, marking a third straight pause. The 8–4 vote showed the most internal disagreement in decades, highlighting a growing divide within the Committee.
While the decision was largely expected and already reflected in markets, it comes against a backdrop of stubborn inflation tied to energy shocks and ongoing geopolitical tension (Iran War, energy shocks, etc.)
The Fed pointed to steady economic growth but softer hiring trends, though the officials weren’t aligned on how aggressively to signal future easing.
One of the more dovish members pushed for an immediate 25bps cut, but the broader tone from Powell’s final meeting still leaned cautious and data driven heading into Q2 (his trademark style).
Bottom line in my opinion? The “higher for longer” narrative is still very much alive, especially with oil and core inflation pressures refusing to fully cool.
Jerome Powell then announced he will remain at the Federal Reserve as a governor which raised a few eyebrows given Trump’s previous comments and the diverging opinions the two share on economic conditions.
Polymarket rate cut odds paint more of the story with the odds of 0 rate cuts for the duration of 2026 still at almost 56%. Will be interesting to see how The Fed interacts with the Trump administration moving forward given the recent announcement from JPOW.
Jerome Powell announced he will remain on Federal Reserve Board as Governor after Fed Chair term ends.
Coatue has launched a new venture called Next Frontier to buy land for data centers, potentially spending tens of billions of dollars on the effort (WSJ/MTS Live)
Meta META 0.00%↑ to offer stablecoin payouts for influencers (Polymarket)
NVDA 0.00%↑ is now worth more than the entire Indian Stock Market lol
Amazon stock AMZN 0.00%↑ fell over -6% earlier this week despite posting stronger than expected Q1 2026 earnings results (Kobeissi Letter)
Spirit Airlines is now projected to shut down by the end of the month (Polymarket)
The national debt just exceeded 100% of GDP for the first time since 1946, per WSJ (Unusual Whales)
Over $6 trillion was added to the US stock market this month (WatcherGuru)
Markets pushed higher this week, extending the momentum out of April, but with a noticeable increase in volatility.
The S&P 500 and Nasdaq both tagged some nice fresh highs early, driven mostly by continued the absurd strength in AI-linked names, before momentum started to fade. Many of our 2026 plays like QUIK 0.00%↑ PLTR 0.00%↑ and AMD 0.00%↑ continue to print. The Dow has held up relatively well, supported by industrial and infrastructure plays tied to the buildout of data centers and energy demand.
As we watched the week progress, leadership narrowed and tech saw a bit of profit-taking despite strong earnings, hinting at growing sensitivity to costs and positioning.
The broader tone is still constructive I would say, but markets are starting to react more sharply to creeping inflation signals, the same slogging geopolitical headlines, and the scale of capital being deployed into the AI arms race.
“I’d love to say there are no more layoffs, but I can’t say something we can’t deliver.”
—META staff
JPM Sex Scandal
X and the internet exploded on Wednesday afternoon with a story from the Daily Mail alleging (key word here) that executive director in JPMorgan's Leveraged Finance (Lorna Hajdini) abused her position to carry out months of coercive sexual misconduct with a junior male broker who was married.
He claimed she threatened career retaliation and slashing of his bonus if he did not comply.
Basically the dude said he was her sex slave gimp boy. I will refrain from posting the allegations (you can find them on daily mail) but it is safe to say this will go down as one of wildest finance stories to break in some time.
According to the filing, the relationship began shortly after the employee joined the firm in 2024 and quickly escalated into a pattern of alleged harassment, manipulation, and abuse.
The plaintiff (now identified as Chirayu Rana) claims the executive used her authority to pressure him into non-consensual encounters while simultaneously threatening his career if he resisted. The lawsuit also includes allegations of drugging, racial harassment, and invasive control over his personal and financial life.
"Do you find it plausible that he protested and started to cry as she was saying 'your little Asian, fish head wife doesn't have these cannons?'... I don't believe that at all!"
—Commentator Megyn Kelly on the scandal
Hajdini hit back in a statement issued to The Post via her lawyers: “Lorna categorically denies the allegations. She never engaged in any inappropriate conduct with this individual of any kind and has never even been to the location where the alleged sexual assault supposedly took place.” (NYPost)
While most close to the case have been tight lipped, spokesperson at JPMorgan said this week “Following an investigation, we don’t believe there’s any merit to these claims”
Wild week on the internet that’s for sure and can’t help but feel some sympathy for Hajdini who appears to have had her reputation tarnished over what might be some unhinged fabrication.
Crypto
Crypto really does continue to hang in this nice holding pattern. Not really decoupling from equities but not turbo dumping either. I am watching closely, looking for the first moment that we see alt coins surge independently of majors.
Eric Trump said this week that bitcoin in its “greatest period ever” as Wall Street falls in line
Paul Tudor Jones called bitcoin the 'best inflation hedge,' and warned of overvalued stocks (CoinDesk)
Chainlink has now facilitated more than $30 trillion worth of transactions through its industry-leading oracle solutions (BSCN)
Tokenized real-world assets (RWAs) hit $19.3B in Q1 2026 per CoinGecko, up 256.7% from $5.42B in 2025 (LINKWIRE)
Securitize has partnered with transfer agent Computershare to help U.S. companies issue securities as digital tokens on a blockchain (Polymarket Money)
Bitwise dropped a solid article on Chainlink this morning on X, saying “Chainlink in Plain English” – why Chainlink matters for stablecoins, tokenization, and mass-scale adoption.” In this piece Bitwise emphasizes some of what we already know which is that Chainlink is the bridge between blockchains and the real world.
Remember, on their own, blockchains are closed systems that can’t access outside data or communicate across networks. Chainlink fixes that by acting as a decentralized oracle layer, feeding smart contracts real world information like prices, events, and payments so they can actually function.
Why am I (and Bitwise) so bullish on LINK?
As we see more financial activity moves on-chain, demand for reliable data and interoperability explodes. Everything from stablecoins and DeFi to tokenized assets and cross chain settlement depends on this infrastructure, and Chainlink has quietly positioned itself as a core provider. They sit right smack in the middle of the new financial world order.
Regardless of price action at the moment, institutions are increasingly treating Chainlink as foundational plumbing. Banks, payment networks, and large financial players are already experimenting with it to connect traditional systems to blockchain rails.
At the time I am writing this crypto is looking solid with Bitcoin trading around $78,600 and Ethereum ranging around the $2,300 level.
You can read the full piece in Chainlink HERE.
Global News
The Strait of Hormuz situation is still front and center this week, with a fragile ceasefire in place but U.S. naval pressure on Iran continuing to disrupt a meaningful share of global oil flows.
Crude has pushed above $120, reigniting inflation concerns and forcing central banks to rethink how quickly they can begin to ease policy.
In a major shift, the UAE has moved to leave OPEC, signaling a breakdown in coordinated supply strategy among Gulf producers. The TLDR version of this is that this now introduces a new layer of uncertainty into global energy markets, where a fragile state of cohesion has historically been the backbone of price control.
If we start to see other producers begin prioritizing market share over discipline, it raises the risk of more volatile oil prices and potential oversupply scenarios.
At the same time, Ukraine has stepped up pressure on Russia, keeping the Eastern European front active alongside Middle East tensions. The effects are already spreading, with governments and consumers accelerating the push toward energy security and alternatives as volatility resets expectations.
On the heels of our post on UFOs, missing scientists, and black budget defense programs President Trump revealed this week that the government will be releasing "as much as we can" on UFOs in the near future
A drone hitting an airliner was reported in San Diego, California, on a Boeing 737 jumbo jet operated by United Airlines
The FBI announced that 25 defendants have been convicted in $215 million Nigerian-linked fraud scheme targeting over 1,000 victims across 47 states (Polymarket)
The Department of War on X announced that they have entered into new agreements with 7 of the world’s largest AI companies in an effort to deploy the leading edge tech to the front lines.
SpaceX, OpenAI, Google, NVIDIA, Reflection, Microsoft and Amazon Web Services, several of which already work with the Pentagon, are now all going to be integrated into the Pentagon’s Impact Levels 6 and 7 network environments giving more of the military access to their products, the Pentagon said in a statement.
The Pentagon’s main AI platform GenAI.mil has been used by over 1.3 million Defense Department personnel, the agency noted in its release, after five months of operation (NBC News).
That’s it for today guys - I will see you next week. Have a great weekend if I don’t see you on X or Discord.
Andy
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Disclaimer - I am a monkey brained former salesman and trader who enjoys writing about crypto, markets, and global events. None of this is to be considered formal financial advice. Always invest in accordance with your own personal risk tolerance and thresholds in mind. God speed.
Love your Linky pimps baby! Enjoy your vacation
Thicc alien cheeks